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Vallie Stearns Anderson

Vallie Stearns Anderson passed in the comfort of her home on May 19th, 2022, at the age of 58. As Vallie transitioned into the next phases of her Buddhist path, daffodils swayed in the front yard, her beloved cats Gigi (named after feminist Germaine Greer), Leona (similarly named after a feminist idol) and husband Kevin Stearns Anderson were at her side. The last seven years of Vallie’s life, living with brain cancer, were rich, joyful, and well-lived. Vallie was born in 1964, in Cheney, Washington, to Brent Stearns and Louise White Stearns (born Enloe White). She spent the majority of her upbringing in Winnipeg, Manitoba, alongside her brother Edwin (four years her junior) with regular trips to visit her mother and relatives in the US. After an early period of travels abroad she lived in Ottawa, and then moved to New Brunswick (Fredericton and Saint John, eventually settling in Sackville). Her interest in social justice was encouraged at home through example. Both her parents were active in the anti-war movement, and her mother was involved in efforts such as founding a Native library in Winnipeg. Her commitment deepened through her life. Throughout adulthood she persistently pursued societal transformation. She began her undergraduate studies at Mount Allison University, then at the age of 20 transferred to Friends World College with which she did self-directed research overseas on topics that came to colour the rest of her life: women and gender related issues such as economic and power inequalities as well as oppression. During her year in Japan, she studied representation of gender in media, and in her year in the Philippines she studied human trafficking. Upon returning to Canada, Vallie completed her undergraduate degree in Women’s Studies and Sociology at Carleton University. Later, she studied law at the University of Ottawa with a keen interest in the relationship of law and social equity. She was admitted to the bar in 2002. She soon began to work in areas that allowed her to act clearly in accordance with her values: in Ottawa she worked for a sexual assault clinic that provided crisis counselling to survivors. Vallie was a social justice force to be reckoned with. She didn’t hesitate to show up and raise her voice at rallies or protests aligned with her values. While she was never arrested, she did go as far as chaining herself to a fence during an anti-war protest. Vallie later threw herself into work with the Canadian Union of Public Employees as a negotiator, representative and researcher. This prompted her move to New Brunswick. She poured decades of volunteer energy into the New Brunswick Coalition for Pay Equity. When she moved to Sackville and there was no local branch, she created one. While in Ottawa, Vallie gained an especially close community and developed relationships, many of which remained strong through the rest of her life. As one friend remembers, while “other people would say you have to be solid; you have to be who you are,” she rejected that and was open to exploring who she was, even as it changed over time. Vallie shared this gift of openness and acceptance toward herself with her friends and family as well, not expecting them to be a particular way. She came out to her family during her time in Ottawa and had many friends in the queer community. She proudly donned her rainbow knitted hat for comfort and warmth in her final months noting its meaning with a smile. Vallie missed her close-knit Ottawa friends when she moved to the Maritimes. But she found meaning in her work and gradually found a loving and accepting community in New Brunswick as well. Vallie initially trained as a lawyer in part to be able to raise a child solo. Occupied with other life endeavors, the opportunity to have children of her own eventually passed. But when her brother Edwin had his children in 1999 and 2001, Vallie embraced this chance to act as a dedicated aunt. From this point on, she was a source of encouragement and steadfast love for several young people: her nephew and niece Gordon and Gabrielle Stearns, Kevin’s children Dan and Beck Aurell, and her great niece Liz Keeling, all benefited from her deep love and friendship. She also put significant effort into renewing her relationships with her extended family, which included a continued close relationship with her Aunt Carolyn. She is survived on the Stearns side by her brother Edwin (Nicole) Stearns, her stepmother Lily Kowal Stearns, her aunt Ellie Loring, and many loved ones including Bob, Richard, and Dinnie. Vallie started her Buddhist journey in Ottawa along with a dozen young beginners who engaged voraciously in learning and questioning tradition. “We were all in our late 20s and 30s. And we were past that kind of stage where you try to discover yourself or be outrageous to express yourself”, says Tejumo, a member of the group. “We all came into that same world wanting to be happy. But not happy as a career person – happy as a human being.” Once she moved to the Maritimes, the Buddhist community, or sangha, continued to be very important to Vallie. In Fredericton, she was active in the Shambhala Buddhist center, and in Saint John, she led a meditation group for many years. In Sackville she took part in, and led, a Shambhala-affiliated meditation group. At a Vajrayana Seminary program, in line with her joyous nature, she talked three other participants into memorizing lines and putting on a performance of the four dignities: Tiger, Lion, Garuda, and Dragon. Vallie performed the role of Tiger. One of them completely forgot their lines, and instead did a creative dance impression. As Kristine remembers, “it was hysterical, it was so much fun. She would bring performance into where there wouldn’t have been performance.” Eventually she was given the Buddhist name Trime Tak, meaning “Stainless Tiger”. Theatre was a source of delight, and at times a way to impact the world. Even in her early years at Mount Allison University, she led an adaptation of Waiting for Godot that featured an all-woman cast. Also in her last years of life she took part in many plays with the Performers’ Theatre Company in Sackville, and treated other students to her presence in theatre classes at Mount Allison. While work took her to New Brunswick, love led Vallie to Sackville. She met Kevin at a meditation retreat, and they cultivated a deeply committed relationship that let them both thrive. Kevin and Vallie were married at the same retreat center in 2013. They shared many adventures including travel to visit family, quiet time relaxing in a hammock 40 feet up trees, kicksledding on lake ice even as Vallie’s physical abilities changed, supporting each other in theatre productions, and moving into an older house and making it a home together. In her last period of life, she displayed profound courage and curiosity – even with experiences in the process of dying that many would find strange or unwelcome. In January, Vallie experienced vivid visual phenomena. She described glassy creatures: green snakes with red forked tongues, armadillos, dragons. She was fascinated by these perceptions. With the aid of medication, the symptoms subsided, but she was curious about other aspects of her last journey as well. She read about what might happen to her and compared her experience with traditional writings that engage with death. This inspired many close to Vallie to explore experiences of life and death with a similar attention. She always invited her friends, family, and fellow practitioners to sit with her in daily meditation. She was supported, and she supported her circle in equal measure. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to The New Brunswick Coalition for Pay Equity / La Coalition pour l’équité salariale du Nouveau‑Brunswick https://equite-equity.com/en/donate Arrangements have been entrusted to Erin Campbell and staff of Campbell’s Funeral Home, 89 Bridge Street, Sackville, N.B. (506) 364-8188. A private in person service will take place at the Sackville United Church on Sunday, May 22nd at 2 pm. All others are welcome to join this service via Zoom using the link below. Vallie's burial will take place in the Westcock Cemetery following the service. Please follow this link for the online gathering for 2 pm on Sunday. https://us06web.zoom.us/j/85726885122?pwd=OUxUcVRHS0NEK1B3K3FqRmY0anRyQT09 Meeting ID: 857 2688 5122 Passcode: Vallie

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The right to access and inspect your personal information or to be provided with a permanent copy of the information being held about you;
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Changes to our Privacy Policy:

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My Tribute Gift Foundation
info@mytributegift.org
Telephone: 1-855-355-8141
Privacy Policy as of May 2023.

The My Tribute Gift Foundation (MTGF) is committed to preserving your privacy and maintaining the accuracy, confidentiality and security of your credit card and other personal information. This privacy policy describes the personal information MTGF collects by any means, including but not limited to our My Tribute Gift Memorial donor's portal pages and our website at https://mytributegift.org/privacy.html (each a “Site” and collectively the "Sites"), how we collect, use and safeguard that information, and the circumstances under which we may disclose it. By using one of our sites or otherwise providing your personal information to us, you agree to the terms of this Privacy Policy.

What is personal information?

What personal information does My Tribute Gift Foundation collect?

When you make a donation to a charity through one of MTGF's Memorial Pages, MTGF collects personal information directly from you in order to properly process your donation and be able to issue an official receipt for it, consistent with requirements of the IRS in the U.S.. MTGF also collects personal information from you in this manner to enable MTGF to contact you to confirm your donation and, in the case of a lost or missing receipt, to reissue you a receipt for your donation. This personal information consists of your name, address, phone number, email address, your credit card information, "acknowledgement" or "in memory of" information, recipient charity, your directions and notes to the recipient charity, and donation amount.

IP address to measure our website traffic and to help provide a more personalized experience;
Information regarding your browser and other technical specifications required to use our Sites;
Your transaction history relating to the use of our services;
Computer data or files, often called “cookies,” which may be sent by your web browser and stored on an individual computer to allow our server to “recognize” you through the navigation of our Sites; and
Computer data files, often called “web beacons” that are collected from emails or links on third-party sites that allow our server to evaluate the popularity of those links or the information contained in emails or on third-party sites.

We use this information to improve our service offerings and to customize your experience using our Sites. For more information, see the “Cookies and Similar Technologies” section below.

How does MTGF Use Your Personal Information?

MTGF does not retain, share, store or use personally identifiable information for any secondary purposes without your express consent.

Cookies and Similar Technologies

We may use cookies, pixel tags, and similar technologies to gather information about your use of our Sites to improve our service offerings and to customize your experience using our Sites.

Cookies

Session cookies
Session cookies are stored on the user’s hard drive temporarily and are deleted when the user ends the browsing session. Session cookies are useful for things like keeping items in a shopping cart while the user continues to browse.
Persistent cookies
Persistent cookies stay on the user’s hard drive until they expire, even after the browser is closed. Persistent cookies are useful for remembering things like login information, so users do not have to enter their password every time they visit the Site.

Clear GIFs

Protecting personal information.

Does MTGF Disclose Personal Information?

MTGF may disclose personal information when required by law, the IRS or other governmental authority, or if requested by a credit card issuer in case of a dispute.

Accuracy of Personal Information

Retention of Personal Information

Children

For EU Residents

The vast majority of our donors are Americans. However, while we do not target our services to individuals outside of the United States, some of our individual donors may be residents of the European Economic Area (“EEA”). For the benefit of such users, we handle their personal data in accordance with applicable EU data protection laws and regulations, including the EU GDPR. Subject to certain exemptions set out in the GDPR, you have the following rights in relation to the Personal information we hold about you:

The right to access and inspect your personal information or to be provided with a permanent copy of the information being held about you;
The right to request the correction of any inaccuracies in your personal information or where the accuracy of information is disputed, to add additional information to give notice that you dispute the accuracy of the information content;
The right to request the erasure of your personal information, particularly where the continued processing of the information is no longer necessary;
The right to object to the processing of your personal information, particularly where there are no longer sufficient legitimate grounds for us to continue processing the information;
The right to restrict processing, data portability and the right to appeal any automated decision making or profiling; and
The right to complain to a Data Protection Regulator about our processing of your personal information.

It is important to note that the rights set out above are not unconditional and the specific circumstances of the processing being undertaken by us will determine if these rights may be exercised. Further information concerning these rights and their application can be obtained by residents of the EEA by contacting us at the address provided below.
If you are a resident of the EEA, our legal basis for collecting and using the personal information described in this privacy policy will depend on the personal information concerned and the specific context in which we collect it.

If you have any questions about or need further information concerning the legal basis on which we collect and use your personal information, please contact us at the address provided below.

Withdrawing Your Consent

You may withdraw your consent to our collection, use or disclosure of your personal information at any time. Simply contact us as set out below with your request.

For California Residents: Your California Privacy Rights

Access and Correction Rights

California Civil Code § 1798.83 permits users that are California residents to request certain information regarding our disclosure of personal information to third parties for their direct marketing purposes. To make such a request, please contact us via the contact information provided below.

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Changes to our Privacy Policy:

Contacting MTGF:

MyTributeGift Foundation
info@mytributegift.org
Telephone: 1-855-355-8141
Privacy Policy as of May 2023.

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